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Lessons Learned
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want
Well, that was exciting! 
24th-Oct-2016 10:13 am
Mercy
Things I learned last week:

1. Locking your doors and having alarms on them is pointless. Why waste time picking locks or kicking down a door when rocks are so commonly available and easy to use? Burglars always come in through the windows. You need to arm the motion sensors as well.

2. Next time, call 911 first, THEN go chase the bad guy out. Or better yet, capture his ass so you don't have to be afraid he'll come back. Once he's out in the woods, those sheriff deputies are never going to find him.

3. Windex is the thing for taking fingerprint powder off surfaces. Anything else will just smear it all around everywhere.

4. Try harder to notice the details at the time, no matter how unexpected the situation is. It's embarrassing to be unable to pick someone out of a line-up when you were six feet away from them 8 hours ago.

Things the other guy learned last week:

1. If there's a motorcycle parked out front, there's probably a biker inside. Not all bikers are big mean guys, but there's probably some truth to the stereotype of them being a bit more independent-minded and action-oriented. Maybe you should try the house down the road with the Prius or the Volvo out front instead.

2. Don't turn on all the lights everywhere you go. It makes you easy to see and keep track of once you've poked your head in the wrong bedroom door. In fact, don't make a nest on the couch, go exploring, and then stop to heat a snack, just steal some shit and get out already.

3. A little old lady in a pink fleece bathrobe with happy kitties printed all over it is still pretty damned scary when she's pointing a .45 at you. Happily, it does turn out that meekly doing exactly what she tells you is a good way to not get shot.

4. If you plan to get high later, leave your dope pipe in your backpack instead of on the kitchen counter. You might forget it when you have to leave suddenly and that thing is covered with your fingerprints and DNA.
Comments 
25th-Oct-2016 06:06 pm (UTC)
We're all fine here now, thanks! Not sleeping terribly well yet. This too shall pass.

Come to scenic California for the beautiful surroundings, stay for the adrenaline rush! But the guest room still only comes with free cats, not spare weapons.
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